Should Your Drama Prove Sincere

I want to make this some high-minded post.

I want to talk about how we hurt the ones we care about when recovering from abuse.

I want to talk about how boundaries are necessary and good. About how you aren’t obligated to spend your spoons (or matchsticks or dice) to keep pouring energy into toxic relationships or people.

I want to talk about how that still holds true even if you’re a degree or two removed from the toxicity itself.

I want to make this softer and kinder than it really is.

But that would be even more cruel.

We all have an obligation to ourselves first.

We have an obligation to put the oxygen mask on our own face first.

We have an obligation to consciously decide how to spend our time and energy.

We have an obligation to enforce our own boundaries.

And this is one of mine:

I will not be involved in a toxic or abusive relationship, especially where the victim is not actively trying to get out of it.

And that’s all there is to it. Sometimes it just takes a single action, a single time screwing up to show how toxic things are, a single episode of inaction showing exactly where your priorities are.

What’ll it take to get it through to you, precious?
I’m over this, why do you want to throw it away like this?
Such a mess, why would I want to watch you?

A Perfect Circle, The Outsider

And that’s all there is to it.

Help me if you can 
It's just that this 
Is not the way I'm wired so could you please 
Help me understand why 
You've given in to all these 
Reckless dark desires, you're 

Lying to yourself again, suicidal imbecile 
Think about it, you're pounding on a fault-line 
What'll it take to get it through to you, precious? 
I'm over this, why do you want to throw it away like this? 
Such a mess, why would I want to watch you? 

Disconnect and self-destruct 
One bullet at a time 
What's your rush now? 
Everyone will have his day to die 

Medicated drama queen 
Picture perfect, numb belligerence 
Narcissistic drama queen 
Craving fame and all its decadence 

Lying through your teeth again, suicidal imbecile 
Think about it, pounding on a fault-line 
What'll it take to get it through to you, precious? 
I'm over this, why do you wanna throw it away like this? 
Such a mess, why would I want to watch you? 

Disconnect and self-destruct 
One bullet at a time 
What's your rush now? 
Everyone will have his day to die 

They were right about you 
They were right about you 

Lying to my face again, suicidal imbecile 
Think about it, you're pounding on a fault-line 
What'll it take to get it through to you, precious? 
I'm over this, why do you wanna throw it away like this? 
Such a mess, over this, over this 

Disconnect and self-destruct 
One bullet at a time 
What's your hurry, everyone will 
Have his day to die 
If you choose to pull the trigger 
Should your drama prove sincere 
Do it somewhere far away from here
Lyrics to “The Outsider”

Photo by Panos Deligiannidis on Unsplash

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