Should Your Drama Prove Sincere

I want to make this some high-minded post.

I want to talk about how we hurt the ones we care about when recovering from abuse.

I want to talk about how boundaries are necessary and good. About how you aren’t obligated to spend your spoons (or matchsticks or dice) to keep pouring energy into toxic relationships or people.

I want to talk about how that still holds true even if you’re a degree or two removed from the toxicity itself.

I want to make this softer and kinder than it really is.

But that would be even more cruel.

We all have an obligation to ourselves first.

We have an obligation to put the oxygen mask on our own face first.

We have an obligation to consciously decide how to spend our time and energy.

We have an obligation to enforce our own boundaries.

And this is one of mine:

I will not be involved in a toxic or abusive relationship, especially where the victim is not actively trying to get out of it.

And that’s all there is to it. Sometimes it just takes a single action, a single time screwing up to show how toxic things are, a single episode of inaction showing exactly where your priorities are.

What’ll it take to get it through to you, precious?
I’m over this, why do you want to throw it away like this?
Such a mess, why would I want to watch you?

A Perfect Circle, The Outsider

And that’s all there is to it.

Photo by Panos Deligiannidis on Unsplash