You always have a choice.
We all have an obligation to ourselves first.
We have an obligation to put the oxygen mask on our own face first. We have an obligation to consciously decide how to spend our time and energy.
We have an obligation to enforce our own boundaries.
When is an abusive statement not an abusive statement?
When recovering from abuse – particularly abuse from someone using narcissistic techniques – it’s common for the recovering person to end up hurting the people who are in the healthiest relationships with them.