I had (have) a dangerous thing: A brain weasel that rationalizes away the truth.
When your significant other(s) come to you with brain weasels, no matter how crazy the brain weasel is, do not shame them for bringing up their brain weasels. Period.
There’s a reason I keep talking about fears, both here and in real life. Fears…
Brain weasels, linguistically, are their own entities. By naming them as something other than your sweetie, you’ve managed to address the problematic behavior without actually blaming the person.