Brain Weasels: The Single Most Important Thing To (Not) Do

Folks, I know I’ve talked a lot about brain weasels.  (And if you don’t know what the hell a brain weasel is, check out the posts here, here, and here.)

And there’s something I realized I need to add to the discussion around brain weasels.

When your significant other(s) come to you with brain weasels, no matter how batshit crazy the brain weasel is, do not shame them for bringing up their brain weasels.

Let me repeat that for the folks in the back row.

DO NOT SHAME YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER(S) FOR THE BRAIN WEASELS THEY BRING TO YOU.

Brain weasels are, by definition, illogical creatures.

“But”, says the convenient bystander, “what if they ask about …”

DO NOT SHAME YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER(S) FOR THE BRAIN WEASELS THEY BRING TO YOU.

“But what if they ask if you’re…”

DO NOT SHAME YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER(S) FOR THE BRAIN WEASELS THEY BRING TO YOU.

“But what if what they ask offends you…”

DO NOT SHAME YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER(S) FOR THE BRAIN WEASELS THEY BRING TO YOU.

Here’s the thing, folks. If your significant other brings their fears to you, no matter how batshit crazy they are, they are trusting you.  Our brains are great at pattern matching, and absolutely horrible at determining the validity of those patterns. Especially when we’ve been hurt before, or been traumatized by societal expectations, or had horrible early dating experiences leaving you with a crap attachment style.  Our brains come up with the most illogical fears. So it does not matter if they ask if you’re secretly hanging out in crop circles banging anal-probing aliens for fun when you’ve always had a public fear of alien abduction.

DO NOT SHAME YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER(S) FOR THE BRAIN WEASELS THEY BRING TO YOU.

These are the fears and insecurities they have. These are the things that they’re most terrified of in the world.

And they trust you to be gentle with them about those fears.

Featured Photo by Andrei Lazarev on Unsplash

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