I do not understand the male anger about the bear question, but it definitely illustrates the problem.
If the answer you hear to the bear question is not the answer you expected, then you don’t understand the other person’s POV. Maybe you’re lacking information. Maybe you’re just wrong.
Instead of denying the other experience, figure out what they’re seeing that you aren’t.
Then work toward mutual understanding. Learn why that choice you don’t understand is being made. Change your own behavior. Work to change other people’s problematic behavior.
Just shouting "no, you’re wrong!" until others shut up kinda proves the whole bear point.
This also applies to "that accusation MUST be false, he wouldn’t…" scenarios.
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