The Question That Remains After A Break-Up

There’s usually one question that lingers when you get dumped.

"Was I not good enough?"

The answer to this is no. You were not good enough for that person.

Which may have nothing to do with you.

"Good enough" is a really slippery and vague thing. Maybe at one point in someone’s life, "good enough" means someone who will go to parties with them, and at a different point, someone who will help raise children. Or "good enough" might be something unattainable just because of circumstances outside of anybody’s control. Sometimes your baggage conflicts with other people’s. Sometimes you don’t even realize that it’s your baggage in the way until it’s too late. And so on.

So no, at that time and place in history, you were not "good enough"… for that particular person.

That realization can bring a bit of relief at first. You’re "good enough" for someone – just not that someone.

Eventually, that brings the harder and often unanswerable question: COULD I have been good enough?

I can’t answer that question for you.

Quite likely, the person who broke up with you cannot answer that question either.

Because that’s something that didn’t happen.

So let go of that question.

All you can do is keep being the best version of yourself that you can.

And eventually you will find the person (or persons) you’re "good enough" for.

Featured Photo by Farida Davletshina on Unsplash

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