"Was this a milestone?"
It was a valid question, and one that’s probably on a lot of people’s minds this weekend. Maybe in a good way, as it was when she said it then. Or maybe it’s a bad way – like the anniversary of a breakup, or yet another holiday forgotten, or another holiday alone.
We talked about it for a while. About the things that the word "milestone" implied.
They’re notable things. Maybe not always "pull over and read the plaque" things, but instances of note. Well, it was that – one of those "first time holding hands" kinds of things. Milestones let you know where you are. Yeah, it fit that quality too – like if you give each other your keys, you definitely have some idea of where your relationship is.
And that’s where it can get problematic.
Milestones imply a path. A specific direction that things are going, maybe even – if you do some math – a velocity.
Milestones imply that you should be making "progress". That there is a certain way things are "supposed" to be going.
Maybe it’s not a relationship escalator, but a relationship road.
So not a milestone.
But still a marker. Worthy of note and appreciation, not for what it could be, but important because they are.
A marker in a Zen garden.