I was in the car when I realized. When I realized how bad it had gotten. When I realized that, at some point, the proverbial water in my relationship had gone from “warm” to “boiling”, and I hadn’t noticed.
It’s probably worth noting that the car was still on. In the garage. I’d closed the garage doors maybe ten minutes earlier after returning from an errand.
And then sat there, the car on, listening to the music. And not really caring either way how much carbon monoxide was in the air.
This is a post about that moment. The moment when the creeping feeling about your situation suddenly crystallized into the certainty that, yes, it really is that fucked, and you’d missed it, denied it, ignored it, explained it away… and you wouldn’t be able to any more.
After months of Ann  urging me to read it, I finally picked up my copy of Codependent No More. I stood in my bathtub, smoking out the window. I was bored and my phone was in the other room, so I picked up the book and started reading. And kept standing there in my bathtub, reading, seeing my situation mirrored in the words on the page as the cigarette burned down into ash.
It doesn’t just happen in romantic relationships. Professional ones, familial ones, friendships.
It’s that moment. When you suddenly clearly see exactly how toxic it has become, no matter how much you might hope otherwise.
It is at that moment that things can truly start to change.
Sometimes, that moment is reading what other people’s moments were, so that you can recognize it in yourself. Like what happened with me and Codependent No More.
I’ve shared two such moments with you above.
Now I challenge you to share what your moment was. 
Share it as a comment here, on social media, on your Tik-Tok or even in person.
Share that moment with others.
Share it so that others know they are not alone.
Share it so that they might be spared any of the pain you endured.
And do not be ashamed of that moment.
It was not a moment of weakness.
It was a moment of strength.
I am proud of you for that moment.
Tell your story.
 You can split hairs about whether or not that counts as suicidal, but that’s beside the point. Again, those posts are over here. And no, I’m not suicidal now either; this is from the past.
 My artistic license applies; I’ve obfuscated and mixed details and times for other people’s privacy.
 While I challenge you, there’s nothing wrong if you aren’t able to share for whatever reason. As long as you are doing the best you can, you are okay.