I’ve written about narcissists (and narcissistic behaviors) in relationships, oh, a few times before now. And it’s important to remember the dangers of emotional self-diagnosis, particularly when we’re talking about a personality type/disorder that is so hugely destructive.
There’s a lot of people out there who, whether or not they are “actual” narcissists, display more than a few narcissistic behaviors. And at the end of the day, it does not matter whether the person who is exhibiting these behaviors fits a particular diagnosis.
All that really matters is how they behave, and how it affects you. (Yes, this is a variant of consequentialism; while you should be careful and sparing in how you use it, if someone is untrustworthy enough to have you questioning their motivation, it’s an important tool in your toolbox.)
So what to do? There’s lots of stuff to read – both online and off. For example, Codependency – “Loves Me, Loves Me Not”: Learn How To Cultivate Healthy Relationships, Overcome Relationship Jealousy, Stop Controlling Others and Be Codependent No More by Simeon Lindstrom, which I reviewed back in 2017 (and still recommend).
But if you have someone who is more into watching videos, I’ve been collecting ones that offer good advice (though with varying levels of production quality) for several years into a YouTube playlist.
Some of the videos will resonate, some won’t, but that’s kind of the point of the varied approach here. While I’m not explicitly endorsing any particular person’s products or books from that playlist, each of the videos has something that I’ve found valuable and useful in my attempts to have more meaningful and healthy relationships.
As of this writing, there’s about 40 videos, averaging about 10 minutes (with one or two long ones in there). It’s a resource I use frequently, not only to help ensure that I’m not falling back into old patterns, but that I refer others to as well.