Snarky Witty Banter, Free Of Context

One of the things I used to do when I was running some tabletop RPGs was to write down the funny quotes that people came up with.

And y’know, as far as snarky witty banter, some of them hold up pretty well. Here’s some of my favorites, that work free of context. I think the fact that they work on their own says a lot about the language… and what sorts of things resonate for people.

Obviously, the attribution is to the character, not the player.

  • “No! That’s one of the rules! You cannot come up with your own codename!” – Evan 
  • “You don’t consider that strange?” “Not compared to vampire fish.” – Geneva/ Crispin 
  • “Does everyone have weapons on them? No? We’ll stop by my house then.” – Geneva
  • “There’s jumping TO conclusions, and then there’s jumping PAST conclusions…” Evan
  • ”I’ll have you know that ill-concieved plans are the bread and butter of what we do.” – Crispin
  • “I prefer he not run to the bad guy, get his throat slit and bring the apocalypse.”
  • “This morning I was opening Christmas gifts, now I’m facing down guns of madness!” “Merry Christmas, dude.” Crispin/ Evan 
  • “This hootenanny of evil ends now!” – Crispin 
  • “Of all our concerns, that’s the worst. Evil Christmas music.” – Evan 
  • “The closest I ever came to hunting was the mini-marshmallows in my mother’s cupboard” – Geneva 
  • “Can you explain that in our culture it’s considered bad manners to eat the neighbors?” – Erin 
  • “The demons drove by this house? Dude, I am SO glad I don’t live here.” – Josh 
  • “I don’t have enough Oxyclean with me to get all of this.” – Erin
  • “This is where you check for traps in a Dungeons & Dragons game.” – Erin
  • “What more information do you need? We’re here, they’re there, let’s go get them.” – Bannunu
  • “Why don’t we go to the tavern first before we see the Mayor. That way we have plausible deniability.” – Bannunu