Here’s roughly two dozen brief movie reviews, mostly of films I’ve not seen a lot of discussion about. My personal rating is before the title (1 bad, 5 perfection) and title is linked to JustWatch, so that you can see your streaming options for each film. (If you’re not seeing the links, go to the blog post itself.)
1/5 Atlas (2024)
Would you like to watch a movie made up of video-game cut scenes with absolutely insane dialogue and utter nonsense science… but the powered armor/mechs look pretty cool? Then you want to watch this movie. With friends, while intoxicated, and laughing at it.
1/5 Willow Creek (2013)
Would you like to see a movie about an asshat boyfriend ignoring everything his (much smarter) girlfriend says as they blithely stumble about in the woods until disaster strikes? Then watch 2015’s Backcountry. Or if you’d rather watch it filmed in a "found footage" Blair Witch style with hints of cryptids replacing the bear, you can watch Willow Creek. There’s an extended sequence of just our two protagonists cowering in a tent while there’s noises outside. Just huddling in the tent. That’s it.
4/5 Deadstream (2002)
Although done in a found footage "ghost hunter" style, this self-aware movie is both funny and has some genuine scares in it. Much, much better than I expected.
4/5 Astonishing Tales Of Terror (2022)
This is a B-movie made by smart people who love B-movies, both critiquing the genre’s silliness and problematic aspects while still delivering a goofy B-movie horror ride. If you enjoy B-movies, you will unironically enjoy this one.
4/5 Slay (2024)
This movie is a cross between From Dusk Till Dawn and Priscilla Queen of the Desert (or To Wong Foo), made by people who clearly love both. It is a fun (and funny) romp, and since it’s free to watch on Tubi, you have no excuse not to.
5/5 Let The Right One In (2008)
This is a beautiful and dark story of violence, childhood, lost innocence, and vampires. Highly recommended.
4/5 The Curse of the Highgate Vampire (2021)
I was fully a quarter of the way into this documentary before I realized it was not a "found footage" or faux documentary, but a legit documentary about when London became, briefly, a vampire hunting ground in the 1970s. Yes, for real.
1/5 Island of the Dolls (2018)
This movie could have been so much more, and has all the elements to be a creepy film, but the eventual reveal is so lackluster and disappointing (and avoidable) that it rang false. And boring.
3/5 Migration (2023)
This movie should have been stupid. That’s what I thought when I saw the trailer for it… but I was wrong. This movie was a lot more fun than I expected, and I giggled most of the way through it.
4/5 Sausage Party (2016)
This movie, too, should have been stupid. And… well, there’s a lot of really crude, sometimes more than vaguely offensive (but usually funny) stuff in it. It also is a ferociously smart satire critiquing the role of faith and food in our lives. Also, what happens if you take the premise of Toy Story just a little bit further.
2/5 Slayers (2022)
This would have been a pretty solid B-movie — I mean, Thomas Jane, right? Except they took the original film and decided to try to punch it up and be funny… and failed, instead coming across as if it’s trying too hard throughout. The video game overlay was particularly stupid.
3/5 Something In The Dirt (2022)
What do you do when something strange happens in front of you? Do you try to document it? Do science? Leverage it to get rich? And is that last as easy as it sounds? While some sequences could use tightening, this is a decent bit of weird science/horror.
5/5 Sound Of Metal (2020)
The initial hook — a metal drummer suddenly loses his hearing — is interesting enough. However, Riz Ahmed’s performance (and the phenomenal script, direction, and sound design) make this film a gut-punch of an exploration into deaf culture.
4/5 CODA (2021)
Examining the same theme from a different direction, CODA examines what it’s like to be the hearing child of deaf adults. I found this one a little more predictable than Sound of Metal, adhering a bit more strictly to the "heartwarming" story structure, but still a very powerful and good film.
4/5 Strays (2023)
It’s sooooooooo stupid at times. But I laughed my way through it. More than once. Because dogs are awesome. And dogs are also gross. And people who mistreat dogs need to have thier nards chomped.
3/5 Studio 666 (2022)
The Foo Fighters made a B-movie starring themselves, and clearly loved doing it, and it shows in this fun horror flick.
5/5 Triangle (2009)
Don’t look up anything about this horror/thriller. Just watch it. Expertly plotted and crafted. Absolutely mind-bending and kept me at the edge of my seat.
2/5 The Watchers (2024)
Ishana Night Shyamalan — yes, related to M. Night — made her directorial debut with this film, and it shows. When "it" refers both to her relationship to her father and that it’s her first time out of the gate. It has many good elements, but fails to synthesize them together in a compelling way.
3/5 Censor (2021)
Unreliable narrator, meet the profession of rating videotapes. Set in the UK during a moral panic, we witness a woman’s deterioration after a murder is blamed on a movie she allowed to be released in the country, and her secrets are revealed along the way. If that sounds like you know where it’s going… that’s because you do. The acting, however, is great.
4/5 Give Me Pity! (2023)
This hallucinatory film is a twisted love letter to everyone who grew up with TV variety shows like the Mandrell Sisters, the Osmonds, and the like. It effectively blurs the line between what it real and imaginary, but despite being on Shudder and its marketing, it’s more like a very well done one-woman off-off-Broadway show while on LSD than a horror flick.
3/5 and 1/5 Best Worst Movie (2009) and Troll 2 (1990)
Unless you already know someone who is a cult fan of Troll 2, watch Best Worst Movie first. It stands on its own, chronicling both the creation of the film, it’s later cult success, and how it has (and hasn’t) changed the lives of those who starred in it. It’s a lovely documentary with a lot of heart and laughs. Then go watch Troll 2.
3/5 Black Friday (2021)
What happens if the zombie apocalypse happens on Black Friday, and you work at a box store? This movie happens. Also, Bruce Campbell. Fun, but nothing particularly new or original.
2/5 The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (2009)
HOOOO BOY. Visually gorgeous, the extremely sexist central fairy-tale conceit of the story really ruined it for me.
3/5 Tenet (2020)
Yes, I understood it. It was okay, I guess. Go watch Triangle instead.
Have fun at the movies!
Featured Image by Igor Ovsyannykov from Pixabay
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