Sometimes it’s blowing up the old definitions that really lets you see where change can occur.
"What society tells me I should be: A full[sic]-fuctional adult. What I actually am: A pile of coping strategies in a trench coat."
It seems like an unobtainable ideal, doesn’t it? That idea of a being a "fully-functioning adult", whatever the heck that’s supposed to be.
Here’s the secret: There’s no such thing as a "fully functional adult".
Everyone is a pile of coping strategies in a trench coat.
But what about the "well-adjusted" people?
You may have different strategies than I, born out of different experiences than mine. It can be a matter of discussion whether or not one’s coping strategies are useful or if they get in your way. But everyone has them.
Some – maybe even most – people are unaware that they use coping strategies. They do them unconsciously, reflexively, wondering why the same patterns keep appearing in their lives. The appearance of "functionality" is either an illusion – a facade to hide their inner turmoil – or self-delusion.
Some of us are more aware of our coping strategies. They became necessary due to the circumstances of our lives, our neurochemistry, or the things that other people did to us.
And if you’re aware that you’re a pile of coping strategies in a trench coat, you have an advantage.
Because it’s only when you’re aware of your coping strategies, when you’re aware of the reasons they exist, that you can work to get them under control.
Ironically, it’s only the people who are aware that they’re a pile of coping strategies in a trench coat that are able to level up, to become more than just a collection of coping strategies in a trench coat.
Featured Photo by Nik Shuliahin on Unsplash