All the context you need: I had a pal tell me this:
“She would rather be alone than with me. That means I’m worse than being alone.”
Aside from the built-in prejudice that being alone is automatically the same as “bad”, there’s a much worse fallacy at play.
Dan Savage frequently says there isn’t a “The One”, but there’s a lot of 0.7’s, or 0.8’s. Maybe even some 0.9’s. Even that is problematic, because you have to remember that each person’s scale only counts for that person.
As I put it to my pal:
This is not about a scale of good to bad. This is about matching puzzle pieces. Just because two don’t quite fit right doesn’t make either puzzle piece “bad”.
Your relationship doesn’t work out? That sucks. It sucks bad. But it doesn’t automatically mean you are a bad person… just that you’re not right for that person.