To the Douchepuppet Who Almost Hit Me at Kroger

Hey dude. Didn’t mean to scare you.

At least, I’m hoping you were scared when I asked you what had gotten you in such a hurry that you almost rear ended me in that parking lot.

See, I’m a writer. And you weren’t headed to a hospital or anything, or even going very fast once you got on the street.

Maybe it’s because I saw that episode of Louie. I just wanted to know, y’know? I couldn’t understand what would cause you to rush through a snow covered parking lot and almost rear end me… But wasn’t important enough to be life threatening.

Anyway, even though you never answered me before driving away, maybe you got something from the experience. It’s something I’m trying to teach my kid.

See, I just wanted to understand, so my characters could be more three dimensional.

But I know that’s not the only reason I could have stopped you.

Sometimes when you think there aren’t going to be consequences… other people go out if their way to make sure the consequences find you.

I’m not one of those guys.

But the next person you’re a douchepuppet to might just be.