I shared this link earlier today from an article titled “Women are having sex out of politeness and that’s got to stop”. (Triggers behind the link, obvs.)
What’s terrifying about this (for me) is that it’s almost certainly happened to me… and I had no idea. Our society has taught women (and accurately) that men are a threat to women, and they simply can’t bet that I’m the exception.
This might be invisible to other men, but it’s real.
Like so many of these things, it will require those with power (men) to specifically say and follow through with “You don’t have to” first. And we (men) will have to show it and act like it because women have dealt with men who said one thing and did another.
That does not mean that all men are evil, or bad, or anything like that. But we are swimming in privilege… whether we realize it or not. We can all be well meaning white guys… but still cause insane amounts of damage without meaning to.
And here’s the thing, my droogs: even after you realize that this is a world where sexual violence is something that every woman is painfully, always aware of, a world where sexual harassment and abuse of women is the norm, the responsibility for fixing things lies with those who currently hold the power, whether they asked for that power or not.
And in this case, that means men.
Unless you other men are too cowardly to face up to your responsibilities.
And then, well, you’re not really men, are you?