Doctor Versus Doctor In A Stunning Avoidance of SlashFic!

John Michael Perkins posted a cute “what if” on his Facebook the other day:

Who would win:  Doctor Who or Doctor Doom?

I found myself responding at 0400 this morning… and it tickled me enough that I thought I’d share. 

[SCENE: TARDIS interior, decorated first half of season six. DOCTOR is working at the TARDIS console.]

DOOM: [Enters TARDIS, wearing POWER ARMOR OF DOOM] Fear me, for I am DOOM! Hey…this thing is…
[DOCTOR turns from the TARDIS console. As he waves SONIC SCREWDRIVER, it whirrs distinctively. It is very effective! POWER ARMOR falls apart to the ground.]
DOCTOR: [calling offstage] River…
[RIVER enters, looks at the now-naked DOOM, and rolls her eyes.]
[NAKED DOOM charges at DOCTOR. RIVER shoots him in both knees. DOOM falls to the ground, whimpering.]
[DOCTOR looks at RIVER’s gun snorts dismissively.]
DOCTOR: Be a dear and take out the trash. [DOCTOR turns back to the TARDIS console.]
RIVER: Sexist. I’ll make you pay for that comment, sweetie. [Looks at DOOM] Even though I have to use the handcuffs on him.

[Fade to Black]

…and yeah.  So that’s me on not enough sleep at four am.   And somehow, even though Dr. Doom ended up all nekkid, no slashfic.  Go me.