This is not that story.
I guess it sounds easy. Maybe even fun. But it’s not. I can’t do the simplest chores – fill out your check BEFORE the cashier’s done, you douchebag!
I’m always busy. Hey – you! You park like a douche!
And I have to explain my job – no, ma’am, it’s not sexist because douching was developed by our patriarchal culture. Douches aren’t healthy for women.
Some days, I wish I could just make widgets all day.
“Quit bitching about your job! You’re a douche!”
You’re a douche!
At least I have job security.