[Steve’s note: Yes, this is an “encore episode”. It’s also a reminder that if you like these flash fictions of mine, you can get over 60 of them (including this story) in Pencils Made This Scar, available at my site and on Amazon. It’s only $2 for over 45 minutes of entertainment – what a deal!]
In 2012, the whales told us they were intelligent.
Then they told us they were causing global warming.
My roommate giggled as the whale songs were translated into the details of the libertarian Federation of Ceteceans. He laughed harder as the whales revealed their ongoing plan.
Carbon dioxide was the first step. Next, they would free methane trapped at the ocean floor, spiking the temperature and turning the Earth into… well, the Water.
“That’s horrible,” I said.
“Don’t you see the irony?” he asked. “They’re libertarians. They don’t believe in environmental impact statements!”
I thought I could smell salt water.