At what point do you give up on them?

As the precincts are closing and the reports are coming in, I saw someone get bitchy on a Facebook friend’s post.

Okay, it’s not fair to say “someone”. It was a relative of my friend.

In the space of a few paragraphs this relative of a friend spouted a combination of Trumpian lies and logical fallacies harsh enough to make my head spin. The empathy gap was on full display.

And my friend posted that it was okay to disagree about immigration, they loved that relative anyway.

And that made my mind boggle.

This relative clearly signaled – to my mind anyway – that they were not interested in facts. That they would follow ideology regardless of who it hurt.

I have cut off relatives for less.

I have seen The Brainwashing of my Dad (required viewing, IMHO) and know that these people are not recoverable while they feed on such hateful misinformation and lies.

But I also know that I’m speaking from a place of privilege. I have not had to come out as queer to hateful parents, or deal with the micro aggressions that people of color deal with on the regular.

So I turn to you to answer this: Should we, at this late point, continue to engage with those who are racist and bigoted? If so, how should we contain our rage at their hatred? If not, how should we survive the castigation of family members, both economically and socially?

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