It’s not that polyamorous relationships are more “evolved” or “better”; it’s that relationships are relationships, and that good skills that are great in any relationship like compersion or deliberateness go from being “a good idea” to things that are absolutely required.
It also means that problems that sometimes get glossed over in monogamous relationships can become unignorable. For example, this cartoon from the excellent Kimchi Cuddles:
While the comic – and the situation it presents – is particular to polyamoury, the underlying principle is really common when it comes to needs and boundaries. It’s something that gets glossed over a lot in relationships. This is apparent with a small change:
Too often, when people – women. it’s women – express their needs and boundaries they’re told they’re selfish. Women are taught both implicitly and explicitly to give in.
As a man, it’s horrifying to think of the times (and entire relationships) where we’ve done this kind of minimizing. It doesn’t matter if we meant to or not – though fuck you if you meant to – we did do it.
The question is: Are you going to do something to change it now?