I was going to post my upcoming appearances (Imaginarium and Context come to mind) but instead, I want to draw your attention to another person’s blog.
Issues of (sexual) consent – and lack thereof – have been a big issue lately for conventions. And that’s led to some great conversations – including the rise of the idea of enthusiastic consent.
But you still get folks who worry that waiting for a legalistic “yes” (or asking if you can kiss someone) will … destroy society? Make us all celibate? I’m not sure.
Charlie Glickman did a wonderful thing – he asked his friends and followers on Facebook to offer suggestions of what nonverbal affirmative consent would look like. Some highlights:
- Looking me in the eye and giving me a hand signal that says ‘come towards me’
- When I guide someones hands and place them on my body nodding yes.
- Gripping, grabbing, pulling me closer, reaching for kisses,
initiating position changes, following after a touch when it stops or
moves, nuzzling, smooching whatever part is near enough, and playing
with my hair are all signs of active, engaged enthusiasm for me.
This is great – and I really recommend you reading the article to get all of the suggestions and context around them – because consent is sexy.
And guys, if you’re looking for a way to be bold – and still get consent and respect your partner – Charlie’s got an article (or two) about that as well. Here’s the tl;dr:
Step 1: Start off with an “if statement” such as:
- If you’re available…
- If you’re in the mood…
- If you’re into it…
Step 2: Follow with a statement of your desire
- I would like to go out to dinner with you.
- I’d enjoy kissing you.
- I’d love to spend the night with you.
Powerful, useful, sexy stuff, and highly recommended.