Corporate Talk On Raising Healthcare Premiums Again

Greetings, employees. I know you all are busy, since we required you to be here and also require your output to be the same, but we thought this was important.

The cost of your health care benefits will be going up almost 10% again this year, and what they cover will be going down again.

Now, before you boo, keep in mind that this is due to … Uncertainty… in the field of health care. Not that I would say it’s Obama’s fault, but what other uncertainty is there?

Now again, before you complain, remember how many people are without insurance. You don’t want to be without insurance, do you? Glad you agree.

Also, more …uncertainty…might force us to raise the premiums even more mumble mumble.

What? I deny saying “to preserve profit margins”! We care for our employees…as long as you can keep working for us.

Anyway, let us all hope there is no more “uncertainty” in healthcare so your rates don’t go up more.

[unaware mike is still on]

This is great! We can keep raising premiums, blame the government, and get them so scared of higher premiums that they never stop to think that universal healthcare might cost them less!

[mike cuts off abruptly]

(yes, this is really what these meetings sound like to me)

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