Part of becoming a functioning adult in most (!) cultures, is learning that particular group's social script – the unwritten rules for interacting with other people. The problem is – the rules are not (usually) written down, and because most people understand the rules, no one talks about them.

One part of the social script includes humor. Knowing the kind (and timing) of acceptable humor in a particular situation helps us to feel comfortable as a group member. Relaxation, confidence, and an inherent understanding of unspoken social rules and cues leads to creating an environment where humor is easier, and social faux pas are more accepted.

So how do you get there? Watch more people. That is how actors learn characterization. Not just by watching one person and copying/mimicking, but by watching other people in similar social situations.

If I were to play a pregnant woman (and I have never been pregnant – so I don't have personal experience to work with) I would watch pregnant women – how they walk, move, sit, how they interact with other people. I would then craft my character from my observations.

To translate this into learning a social script, I would watch the group you indicate that you admire. How does that particular group express humor? How does that particular group indicate acceptance, and rejection? What happens when other people use humor in that particular group? What does it look like?

I am not suggesting that you curtail who you are, or that you assume the role of someone you are not (mostly, because *I* do find your sense of humor funny – but that might just say more about me than you, and it certainly says more about me than the groups of which you speak). I suggest that groups within society often have different rules and expectations that aren't advertised, and until you understand the rules of that group you WILL screw up. And jokes will fall flat, and feelings will get hurt, and social ostracism may (or may not) ensue. It just depends on the micro-culture of the group.