Court Case – a flash fiction


[tape begins]

Thank you for letting me defend myself. Your honor, it’s silly that anyone would file domestic violence charges against me. I mean, I love her.

[muffled voice of judge and prosecutor]

Sure, your honor. I told her that I wanted to hurt her, but it was because I loved her so much. I didn’t actually do it, so that makes it okay, right?

[muffled voice of judge]

Your honor, she needs someone to protect her from all the bad things out there.

[muffled voice of prosecutor, then judge]

Yes, I broke into her house and spied on her. No, your honor, I don’t call that voyeurism. I call it love.

[muffled voice of judge and prosecutor]

Of course I stopped her from talking to other boys. You know what all boys want. She doesn’t need to be around people like that. And sometimes she just doesn’t get it, so I have to scare her a little. But it’s for her own good.

[muffled voice of judge, bang of gavel]

Guilty? How can I be guilty? I sparkle in the sunlight!

[pause in recording]

Why is your bailiff named Buffy?

Popular posts:

  • Six tactics the right-wing uses - and what to do about them.
  • Trained to take it personally
  • New fiction up for you to read!
  • Harassment Policies: Yup, It's Still A Thing.
  • Link Salad: References From The Digital Publishing Talk
  • Making GeekTool a little easier on the system
  • I'm Supporting Banned Books Week at My Local Library... are you?