Building vs. Car

Do you want to know why there’s those stupid bureaucratic rules that seem redundant and assume that you’ve got the brains of a two-year old? (No offense to two-year olds…) Let me tell you a little story, then. A love story.

It was a story of a love not meant to be, for even the merest touch of the building damaged the car, and she wasn’t into that kind of kinky stuff.

No, really.

My wife called my work today. My supervisor answered. “Perhaps you could help me,” my wife said. “I don’t know how to tell Steve this, but a building fell on my car.”

“Hang on,” my supervisor said. “I want to see his face when you tell him that.”

And yes, it was true. My wife had parked her car in a local restaurant lot, gone in, and had almost finished her sandwich. That was when my son said: “Hey mom, I think they’re knocking down that building.” That was quickly followed by “Hey mom, I think that building fell on your car!”

I got there about forty minutes later. The police declined to respond, and after playing middleperson between our insurance company and the construction company’s, the tow truck was called. And I started taking pictures.

Notice anything? The complete and utter lack of cautionary markings!?!! We were told that one of the construction crew’s employees was supposed to make sure that nobody had parked there. Good thing they’d told the restaurant… oh, wait. They didn’t. How did we know? The franchise owner was mighty unhappy that her parking lot was jacked up, and was commiserating with us.

In fact, after the tow truck had been called, and pictures taken, they insisted we move our car so they could start clearing away rubble. So I did, and they started to clear away the rubble… wait a second…

There still isn’t any caution tape! It wasn’t until shortly after the above image that the guy who owned the property (and had hired the construction crew) deployed one, sad, ribbon of caution tape.

That’s it. No more than that. Really.

So, unwarned, our poor car suffered the rough touch of a building. She didn’t even know what a safeword was.

I am inspired by the success of the Midwest Teen Sex Show. Perhaps there’s a market for the Midwest Transportation Sex Show?

(Seriously: Everyone’s safe, the car’s in the shop awaiting estimates. It could have been a lot worse, and lot less funny. I’m concerned that both the construction crew and property owner seemed so laid-back about safety. Guys, those OSHA regulations are pointing directly at you.)
Tags: rant, stupidity, wtf