31 December 2011

Spec The Halls - What We've Raised So Far ... and it's not too late to get your copy!

While the last day for entering the Spec The Halls contest is today (it's midnight-ish tonight, even though judging is already underway), it's not too late to get the charity eBook!

Much like the contest rules state, the idea of "Winter Themed" is:
Roughly speaking, we're talking about the last week in November through the last week of January.
And that's how long the eBook will be available.1 You can get your copy at directly from us (use this for reading in iBooks or for the PDF version, and import the ePub format), Amazon, and Barnes & Noble. All the proceeds will be going to Heifer International.

And if you've already donated directly to them, send me a copy of the receipt, and I'll get you the eBook!

So far, this charity has raised $228, which is pretty nice indeed. Help me reach $250 - or even $300 - in the next month as a great way to ring in the New Year.2

Buy a copy of Spec The Halls using the links above or at the website today!


1 Besides, we're still in the Twelve Days of Christmas!
2 Because if there is an apocalypse this year, you won't need that cash anyway, right?

30 December 2011

Read this in Google Currents - and help get me featured there!

I'm actually quite a fan of Google Currents - it's a neat little application for reading content on your tablet, phone, or what-have-you.  It fills a niche for me between short little tidbits (like, say, One Thing Well) and really long stuff I want to save - which I use Read It Later for.  Currently, among the existing library offerings, I'm reading Scalzi, Buckell, Hines, and Stross there, as well as boingboing and some others.

I'm liking it enough that I created an edition just now using the Producer application.  If you've got one of these fancy smartphone/tablet/whathaveyous, try reading this blog (and also my instagram photos!) in Google Currents.  Heck, with enough readers I might even get some exposure.

In the meantime, I'll tell y'all about the experience - what was good, what was annoying, and so on.

So again, click on this link in your phone, tablet, etc - and get me in Google Currents!

Repetition Is Not Your Friend

As a general rule, if you post multiple times a day simply hawking the same point of view on the same topic each time, you will end up perceived as a commercial.

28 December 2011

Have you ever pirated a book (or movie, or music)? I want to hear from you.

soc_econ.pngOkay, folks, as some of you might have seen, I've decided to do a bit of research (more qualitative rather than quantitative) about piracy.  There's a decent amount of quantitative research out there - but I'm more interested in what people are thinking for this.  Many, many people - myself included - have projected our own experience, thoughts, and ideals onto piracy... and the only solution to that is to ask ourselves.

So, from that comes the below quick survey.  Depending on your answers, the length of time needed to complete this survey/interview is going to vary.

If you have pirated any book - especially if you've uploaded files yourself, but even if you've just downloaded them - I would like to hear from you.  If you've pirated video or music, that works too;  alter some of the questions below as necessary to fit the format.  Please pass this around to others who might qualify or be interested.

If you'd rather do a voice interview, e-mail me (AT THE BELOW ADDRESS, with the subject line of "SURVEY") and we'll arrange things.
 
Hi!  I'm Steven Saus, and I'm an author and publisher.  I am also a sociologist.  I am asking about some of your thoughts, feelings, and actions about eBooks.  If you choose to post your replies publicly, I cannot guarantee your confidentiality;  likewise, if you send them via PM.  If you contact me through e-mail or phone, I will not divulge your identity, though I would like your permission to use direct quotes.  I will change identifying details whenever possible in order to protect your confidentiality.

The most secure way to send me your answers is through a service such as


http://send-email.org/

Send your replies (plaintext is great) to  uriel1998@yahoo.com with a subject line of SURVEY (that way it shouldn't get eaten by spam traps.)


These are largely open-ended questions.  The more descriptive and specific you can be with your answers, the better.

If you know others who would be interested in talking to me, please feel free to refer them to me.

1.  Can you give me some specific examples of how you've personally promoted books through uploading?

2.  Do you participate in other promotional activities (review sites such as LibraryThing or GoodReads)?

3.  Do you review the books you read on Amazon, B&N, your own blog, or elsewhere?

The following questions apply to an "average" month.  If you can't think of an average, use last month instead.

1.  How many books (digital or paper) do you buy a month?
2.  How many books (digital or paper) do you upload a month?
3.  How many books (digital or paper) do you read a month?
4.  About what percent of the books you upload do you read?
5.  Are there any authors or publishers you will NOT upload?  Why not, and can you give me examples?

Some file services pay uploaders for the number of downloads (such as $25 per 1K downloads). 

1.  Do you use any of those services?  If so, about how much have you earned from them on an average month?

2.  Do you have advertisements on your own site/blog/etc?  If so, about how much have you earned from them on an average month?


1.  How much do you think the average best-selling author makes from writing fiction per year?

2.  How much do you think the average author makes per year from writing fiction?

3.  Have you ever written a book?

4.  How much time do you think goes into writing the average novel?

5.  About how much time do you think goes into writing a non-fiction book?

6.  Do you use the library system where you live? 

6a.  Can you tell me about what it has available?

7.  If an author or publisher asks you to take down a work, what do you
normally do?  

7a.  Can you tell me about a specific time that happened?

8 .  Have you ever met any authors in person?

Are there any other things you would like to tell me about the ways you interact with eBooks?

Thanks for your time!

27 December 2011

Screw the pirates... let's all keelhaul the bandits.

publishing.pngDespite my opposition to SOPA (which hasn't changed) and my thoughts on piracy (here, here, here) which haven't changed... I've recently stumbled across something that does bother the crap out of me.

I want to distinguish these folks by calling them bandits.  These aren't copyfighters, they aren't fair-use champions, they aren't people "sampling" or even those freeloading.

They are bandits because they're actively making money from ripping content creators off.  I was tipped off to one in particular (I'm not linking to them because I have no desire to increase their pagerank) that seems innocuous on the face of it, but when you pay $10 to join the "VIP Club" (paid through PayPal, and then administered through a Yahoo! gropu) you get access to some things that I'm pretty damn sure aren't legit.

Examples?  Why, yes.  Here's two egregious ones:


The entire run of "The Walking Dead"

Living Vegan for Dummies - with a cover that says "Uploaded by Bookshare"


And in addition, some other titles I saw were The Zombie Survival Guide, A Game of Thrones, The Help, and 11/22/63 (Stephen King).  That's only a tiny fraction.  And yes, these are directly ripped from torrents, even if the cover to "Living Vegan for Dummies" didn't clue you in.  I checked several of the "collections".

I'm not the copyright holder for any of these works.  I can't report them.  But that's not the point of this post.

You see, bandits change the game.  Some of the reasons I've argued that piracy isn't that big of a deal is that folks who want to/are able to/are going to pay will pay in order to support the things and authors they love.  (Sci-Fi fans, please see: Caprica, SG:U.)  The folks who torrent a collection of over 200 eBooks aren't going to buy your eBook.  It's just keeping some kind of weird hoarder-style "score".  They were never your customers to begin with. 

Bandits take away customers/readers/viewers who are willing to pay, and may not even realize that content creators never see a penny.

Again, this doesn't really change a damn thing about SOPA, or piracy.  SOPA wouldn't really stop these jerks (and would do a lot of harm to the rest of us at the same time).  My old arguments about piracy still stand...and keep in mind that the media companies also define giving your significant other a copy of a purchased MP3 or eBook piracy - that's not even shoplifting.  Hell, they go after people for music playing on the radio in the background in a documentary...not soundtrack, but just on the radio. 

So let's define things properly.

People - have rights.  They might share something with their family, maybe friends.  (Ever lend a DVD to someone?  Make a mix tape?  Okay, then.)  They might remix and/or transform the work - for example, G6 Kids fundamentally changes both songs and makes them into something new. 

Pirates are someone who is essentially shoplifting.  Not great, but slap-on-the-wrist kinds of offenses.   (Yes, I know people who work retail and know how insane shoplifters can get.)  Going after pirates as "bad guys" is also problematic in a global world (see Jim Hines' post here and Tobias Buckell here for some very reasoned thought about global perspectives and pirates from other professional authors.)

And then there are the bandits.

Bandits are people who shoplift, then sell what they shoplifted.  This crosses a line for me.  It's no longer about access, or anything even vaguely excusable - it's simply being a parasite and doing so in a way that can steal legitimate customers.

So maybe rather than worrying about piracy which is, to borrow Tobias' phrase, "like squeezing water", we should be focusing on these bandits. 

Not just content creators, either.   Not just the RIAA.  Not just the MPAA.


All of us.  Every pirate.  Every torrenter.  Every remixer.  Every member of the EFF.  Google.  Every cyber-libertarian.  Everyone who loves the internet being free.

Because it's those asshats that weaken every argument that we have.  It's the short-term greed of those jerks that gives ammunition to those who want to over-regulate and cripple the internet.

It would be such a shame if their parasitical business somehow imploded, undermining the arguments that the 'net needs regulation, wouldn't it?

26 December 2011

Fill up your eReader with our first-ever SALE

Yup, that's right folks, I said sale. Alliteration Ink is - from now until 23:59 MST on New Year's Eve - offering a 25% discount for all items purchased directly from us. This is a great value for you - not only do you get more formats (ePub, PDF, and Kindle), but you get them at a discount!

"But wait," says Concerned Hypothetical Person, "I thought part of your thing was to make sure that authors got paid. Aren't you cutting into their profits?"

Actually, no. What I'm discounting is roughly1 the same as the percentage from other online retailers. The authors still get paid, you pay less and get great stuff to read - everyone wins.

Dark fantasy or horror your thing? Check out the The Crimson Pact Volume One and The Crimson Pact Volume Two.

The moment of the demons’ defeat became their greatest victory.

In the carnage after the last great battle against the demons, a doomed general discovers their hidden victory. Instead of being annihilated, unspeakable evil escaped into many unsuspecting worlds. To fight them, the men and women of the Crimson Pact must sacrifice everything—including their own lives.

Each of these volumes is over 500 pages in print - and the eBooks are only $4.99 ($5.49 for the special edition) before the discount!

Would you rather go for a spy thriller? Donald J. Bingle's Net Impact is a grown-up spy thriller, with real people facing real problems... and then there's the bad guys, too. (Did you see the thing about Denver International Airport on The Colbert Report? Yeah, there's really weird things at DIA... but they're not phalluses! Read Net Impact to find out! Only $4.99 before the discount!)

Like my flash fictions? Maybe is for you then - a collection of over sixty of them, ranging from zombies to romance for $1.99 (before the discount). Or you can pick up (for only $0.99 each - before the discount!) Memories of Light and Sound, my time-travel story about love and family, or The Burning Servant, recently purchased by Pseudopod for adaptation into a podcast!

Nonfiction your thing? We have my own So You Want to Make an eBook? on sale, as long as Wendy-O Matik's Redefining Our Relationships.

Swing by the Alliteration Ink store and see what tickles your fancy. Because you can't just let an opportunity like this pass you by!

The coupon code - again, only good at our store and until 23:59 on New Year's Day (Mountain Standard Time) is BRANDNEWDAY !  Take advantage of this offer now!


1 I still get hit by PayPal fees, hence why it doesn't match up to AMZ or B&N's take.

25 December 2011

The Heroism of the Carpenter: Behind The Story

essay.pngFor once, I wanted to give a little "behind the story" on my holiday flash fiction, especially given the theological nature of the text.1

One of the more interesting theological aspects of Catholicism (and some other versions of Christianity - I believe Orthodox, but I'm not certain) is that Jesus Christ was also Yeshua ben Yosef - that the guy was (or is) both fully human and fully divine.

For me, that aspect of theology is the single most compelling thing about His story2. It makes Gethsemane more than just an annoyance - this fully human being, armed only with faith but not certainty, is confronted directly with His avoidable death... and does it anyway. It's that aspect that makes The Last Temptation of Christ so powerful - when offered with a "sure, safe thing" He chooses the hard road of faith and self-respect instead.

But there's a flip side to that coin that I didn't give as much consideration to.

He knew what was coming the whole time.

He knew that it would end in His death. That it would - at least throughout his life - all go to (metaphorical) hell. That His family and friends would turn against Him not just at the end, but throughout His life ("Is this not the carpenter's son?").

And he chose to do it anyway.

Bad things will happen to you. You will be hurt, scarred, and saddened. It will happen.

And when we you choose to go about our lives anyway, we have some small measure of the heroism of a carpenter's son from Galilee.


1 Listen again - and listen for the musical sting from Jesus Christ Superstar.
2 For the purposes of this essay and the story I wrote, we can treat Jesus' story as "not necessarily factual, but true" and get on with it, okay?

Happy Holidays - Two Christmas Flash Fictions

storytime.pngChris the Nuclear Kid and I wrote flash stories for Lawrence Simon's podcast Christmas Spectacular. If you like some of the background music you've been hearing, check out Kris Knight's "A Scary Little Christmas". Great stuff.

Take a read (and a listen) to ours and the rest of the stories either below or at podcasting.isfullofcrap.com. If the player bits don't work, you can directly download them: Audio for Chris' story / Audio for Steve's Story / Alternate Music for Steve's story


Timmy stamped his foot in the snow.  “It was a big tree, with lots of decorations. When I got home from kindergarten, it was gone!”

The policeman raised his eyebrow.  “You think there's a Christmas tree thief?”

“Yes!"  Timmy clenched his jaw.  "It was the Grinch!”

The police officer chuckled.  “The Grinch is imaginary.”

Timmy's face grew hotter.  “No he's not!”

A green man jumped from the roof.  “The kid's right.”   He took a sack off his shoulder, shoved the policeman into it, then looked at Timmy.

"Who needs roast beast?" he said, and shoved Timmy into the sack too.




"They don't tell you that part," the man says. He is a shabby olive-skinned man outside the store Christmas display, smelling slightly of wine.

I shiver in the cold, wanting to get on to the coffee shop in the office lobby, but I never quite got the hang of brushing past people. "What part?"

"In the stories. They don't tell you about the dark side."

I start to walk past as I talk. "Sure they do. Luke, I am your -"

He shifts in front of me. "The dark side of love. The part where you give yourself completely, you know?" He looks me over, hard. "No, you don't."

"Look, I gotta..."

"You can love them, and no matter how much you do, they might not love you back."

I look around for a cop, someone, anyone, but they're all used to the big city and ignore us.

"Sometimes it's worse, and they they love you for a while - but then one day it's all different and weird. And you try to go on, but it's hard."

I try bullying past, but he grabs my arm, eyes flashing, the twin wounds in his hands dripping onto my jacket.

"But you can't let that stop you from trying to love again." He stares at the little porcelain infant in the Nativity. "You can't let that stop you from trying to love again."

23 December 2011

Call me "writer"

There is some debate about what to call people who write fiction.

Well, yes, insane, but I mean as a professional description.

When is someone a "writer", or an "author", or a "professional" at either of those?

For example, do my short story sales count? What about poetry? Nonfiction? I still have a day job - am I a "professional" writer?

I'd suggest that we keep it simple. If you write and get paid for it, you're a professional writer. Everything else - whether you get pro rates, write novels or poems or short stories, etc - becomes - merely an adjective to "writer".

The idea of further subdividing writers - by how much they work, what rates they're getting, what form they work in - creates unneeded division.

So we are writers. Go write.

21 December 2011

Tell everyone about the flaws they're painfully aware of this holiday season!

soc_econ.pngAt least, that's damn near what the UK's National Obesity Forum and International Chair on Cardiometabolic Risk is telling people, as per this article:  "Tell loved ones they are overweight this Christmas".

Given this advice, I think I'm going to tell teenagers about every spot of acne on their face.

Because guess what?   Us fat people?  We know we're fat.  Every goddamn moment of the day, we know we're fat already.  You pointing it out?  Not helpful.

Suggesting that someone "make simple lifestyle changes such as becoming more active, making small alterations to their eating habits and replacing sugary drinks for water" during the holidays - when everyone's setting out a spread of food is just downright cruel.

"Wow, Timmy, that's a gigantic zit on your face!  Is that makeup you have on to try to hide it, because it's certainly not working!  That's probably why your last girlfriend dumped you.  Maybe you should eat less chocolate.  Oh, look, your gran made a cake!"

The funny thing is, most people know this.

"The survey of more than 2,000 people found 42% of 18 to 24-year-olds would not tell a loved one they should lose weight because of a fear they would hurt the other person's feelings."

That's because those people actually have some empathy.  Unlike the officials and doctors.

Perhaps we need to have one more difficult conversation.

"Hey doc.  Did you know you have a really piss-poor bedside manner?  That crap only works for House because he's not real.  It just makes you an asshole."

15 December 2011

Customizable Tools and Strategies to Keep Your Kids From The Bad Crap Out There

technology.pngBack in the day, kids would snatch a dirty magazine (or maybe a
lingerie catalog) and secret it away. That ain't today, folks.

While I'm not a hugely prudish person - at least, when it comes to my
kids - I do have a problem with how easy it is to come across inappropriate material on the interwebs... no matter what your definition of inappropriate might be. Experienced and veteran users are able to avoid the nasty stuff, but kids - especially curious ones - can wander into some pretty nasty territory really quickly.

Again, it's worth noting that I'm not a fan of complete isolation and prudishness. My concern is that there's often no "shallows" - you can go straight from saccharine sweetness and light to necrophiliac beastiality with only an ill-phrased search term. So these tools are specifically chosen because they're free and customizable (and relatively easy to use).

1. Turn on the search level that you want (all OSes). Google has search preferences (including "adult" levels) at this link. Yahoo! has its preference page here. Bing has its preference page here.

2. Install K9 Web Protection (Win/Mac/iOS). This is a highly customizable filter that lives on your computer. Some of its features include:

  •  Set as many (or few) categories as you want to filter
  •  Explicitly create black and white lists of sites
  •  Give time-enabled permission to "blocked" categories on a by-category basis (For example, "Social Networking" for 30 minutes.)
  •  Have it turn off internet activity by time period
  •  Turn off web activity after a configureable number of attempts to access blocked sites
  •  Log web activity

This is the program I use. The customizability (though it's out of the box defaults are pretty good) let me adjust it to both my sensibility and where my kid is at. One note - if you decide to have it block the internet after too many restricted attempts, do NOT select "Ads" as one of your categories. One page (that might be an "okay" page) can call five or six advertisements and make it look like your kid did something wrong.

3. (Windows only): Hide the icon for Internet Explorer; install Firefox and/or Chrome. IE is still much more of a security risk than FF or Chrome.

The next three should be (IMHO) separate programs, and you should be able to find a free one that works for you. Everybody's needs and preferences are a little different with these two areas...

4. Have a good free software firewall that blocks inbound and outbound connection attempts. ZoneAlarm is one such, though it's not the only one by any stretch of the imagination. You
should choose the free option, without any of the other bells and whistles. It just needs to block connection attempts. While Windows Firewall is actually pretty okay at blocking inbound attempts, I think it's important to block outbound from a machine that a child has access to.

The reason is simple: As an adult, you're (hopefully) not going to download anything that tries to "call home" without your permission. Your kids? Not so smart. This helps minimize the damage.

5. Have a good free antivirus program. I used Avast's Home Edition when I ran a Windows PC, but anything with real-time scanning will do. Again, you should be able to find a free program that works
well. I think real-time scanning is important for a machine that kids have access to for the same reason as the firewall.

6. (Optional) Have a good free spyware program. Spybot Search & Destroy is a good one for Windows. The TeaTimer service that comes with it is also helpful.

These tools are not a substitute for parenting. They can all be circumvented. But they do serve a purpose - they help provide more of a "shallows" so that your children have a chance to learn from mistakes without the consequences being catastrophic.

14 December 2011

Trees: A 100 Word Story

storytime.pngYup, it's flash fiction time again! As always, this is based around Laurence Simon's weekly challenge for the 100 word-stories podcast. It's a great exercise for writers - writing a good drabble is a lot harder than it appears, but is still a "small" task so you can get around that idea of it being too much work. And then you get a random (and often bizarre) writing prompt to shoehorn you out of writer's block! Go read the rules for the Weekly Challenge and participate!



You can hear my reading of the story below using the player, but if it's not working (usually in RSS feeds), you can download it directly here. You can also read and hear the rest of the entries at the 100 Word Stories podcast site!



angry hand tree shadow knight thingieThey came on the quiet night, the still night, the silent night.

After the fat man in red clothes had flown away, they marched down the streets, the alleys, across the yards, to the houses.

Flashing colored lights lit their bodies, their twisted gnarled limbs as they creaked and moved. Their footfalls shook milk in glasses left beside earnest notes. Their fingers screeked across windowpane glass.

Children rose from their beds at the noise, hoping to catch the giver of gifts.

And so they, the little ones, bore first witness to the day the forests came to avenge their kin.

13 December 2011

Looking For A Printer

I am looking for a printer (as in commercial printer) who can print short runs (1-20 units) of boxes and/or the wrappers that sometimes go around boxes.  No particular layout needs, just the printing (and perhaps assembling) of these boxes.

If you know any printers who do this kind of work (or might be interested) please e-mail me or tell me in the comments!

Save Yourself Five Hours of Frustration When Doing a Five Minute Mobile Makeover

technology.png"How to make your site mobile? Why, turn on mobile views in Blogger, of course."

Well, duh.  But that doesn't help at all if you've got static websites as well - like I do.  In particular, the Alliteration Ink website (and particularly the store page) while not actively unfriendly, don't do so hot on an iPhone.  (For some more reasons why you want a mobile-friendly page, take a look at the tutorial I used...)

But I decided to start on my main professional page - http://stevensaus.com.

Luckily for me, the template I started with is nicely marked up in CSS, and I've learned enough from doing eBook conversions that CSS and markup aren't just trial and error anymore.

However, I didn't want to use relatively heavy code to make it happen.  I'm usually working on machines at least a generation or two back, and the side-effect of being cutting-edge is that you leave people in the cold.  So it had to be a lightweight solution that would render properly even with text browsers like elinks and lynx.

So the first thing I did was clean up the code from the original (you can see an archive at the Wayback Machine to compare.)  I got rid of the sidebar, and moved everything to a single-column format.  One of my biggest problems has always been equalizing the height of the sidebar and the main content on static pages, so that's actually a relief to get rid of.  (Besides, who needs to have "upcoming appearances" on every page?  I don't get out enough in real life to warrant it.)

Then I followed a lot of the directions on Perishable Press' "The 5-Minute CSS Mobile Makeover".  There's just a few things that no longer work - particularly with iPhones, and they're all part of the same problem.

The media type recognition among mobile phones - and bog help us, Internet Explorer - is non-standard at best.  (They even note that at the top of the article with Windows Mobile browsers.)  So here's what you do:

First, skip the @media CSS tag inside the stylesheets (they recommend it under "Apply Styles to the iPhone").  Have a stylesheet for "standard" - in my mind, 800px wide or better - and for "handheld".

Second, follow all the recommendations about styling for your "handheld" stylesheet.  It's possible to preview on the Opera Mini site (click once on the text, then it looks just about like it does in Safari on the iPhone), or you can look at this specific page I made that just links to the handheld CSS sheet - though the images look HUGE because the images are based off your screen width, not your current browser width.

And I followed Perishable Press' recommendation of how to make it deliver the right stylesheet by media type... and it didn't work.  At all.

Turns out that the iPhone doesn't think it's a lowly handheld browser.  So then you have to test for screen width.  And then Internet Explorer - way to go borking standards - doesn't recognize the standards at all either.

So here's the best solution that I have:

Use this in the <head> portion of your HTML:

<!-- gets everything bigger than 800 pixels on a monitor -->
<link rel="stylesheet" href="default.css" type="text/css" media="only Screen and (min-device-width: 800px)" />
<!-- It's less than 800 pixels across? Must be handheld and in denial -->
<link rel="stylesheet" href="handheld.css" type="text/css" media="only Screen and (max-device-width: 799px)" />
<!-- Holy crap! It's following standards! It's handheld! -->
<link rel="stylesheet" href="handheld.css" type="text/css" media="handheld" />
<!-- And this is for IE. Dunno if Windows Mobile browsers fall here or handheld, though. Everything in the IF portion is only executed if it's IE, so maybe some more code there. -->
<!--[if IE]>
<link rel="stylesheet" href="default.css" type="text/css" media="Screen" />
<![endif]-->

And it should deliver the right stylesheet to most devices.

12 December 2011

Where Facebook Does Something Right

soc_econ.pngIt's rare that we talk about Facebook - as an entity - doing something right.

Often it's in the context of crappy privacy and security, of secret (and not-so-secret) plans to take over the Internet, or in time-sucking games (and how requests to play them make the "Wall" unusable).

But there is one thing that Facebook does well: Birthdays.

Birthdays matter. Even if you don't make a big deal about them, even if you don't want a big celebration (I fall into both those categories), having them ignored or forgotten hurts. I've witnessed it - my eldest had a birthday party once where nobody came1. I've experienced it - one year, every co-worker's birthday at work got a carry-in and cake... except mine.2

Birthdays are important because that's one day that you're supposed to matter a little bit more. That you're just a little more important and relevant. It doesn't take much to wish someone a happy birthday.

And that doesn't matter.

I really appreciate every birthday wish I got - whether through e-mail, snail mail, or on Facebook. Every last one.3

Thank you for taking a moment out of your day to think of me.

Have a great day!


1 It turned out mostly okay, though.
2 Scrounging up a cake and pizza and bringing it was one of the nicest things A ever did for me. Of course, in a later year she forgot entirely about it, so karmic balance was restored...
3 I tried to reply to them all as well; I am SO sorry if I somehow missed you!

09 December 2011

How Rick Perry Single Handedly Confirmed Obama's Wisdom

rant.pngI'm sure you've seen Rick Perry's "Strong" commercial. If not, go watch it really quick.

Rick Perry is actually not saying anything surprising. Seriously. It's what the hard-core right-wing of this country has been thinking for a while.1

Yes, I am blatantly saying that the hard-core GOP is made up of homophobic Christian Supremacists.2

Now take a look at the revulsion - not hate, not disagreement, but disgust - that has landed on Rick Perry because of this ad.

Not policy, mind you. It's just an advertisement.

And that's from the disorganized American political left.

Imagine, for half a second, that the roles were actually reversed. That Obama was actually the leftist that FOX claims he is3. Now imagine the GOP machine manufacturing that same kind of disgust, with a little bit of fear thrown in.

Yeah. And you thought the flat-earther - I mean, birthers - were bad.

So yeah, I don't agree with all the things Obama's done. But I've got an appreciation of what he has done - and exactly how thin of a line he has to walk. Because while he's not done everything I would want - or hope - for him to do, it's bloody hard to do any of it when you're not elected.


1 At least, the "social conservative" part of it. Libertarians, look over here.
2 And if you're a Republican who disagrees with that characterization, I suggest you go have some strong words with your political party, because they've gotten away from your values. Yes, Mom, I'm talking to you.
3 He's not. He's a centrist. Hell, by the standards of anywhere else in the world, I'm a moderate instead of a left-winger, and he's to the right of me.

06 December 2011

Soylent Cookies - A Guest 100 Word Story

storytime.pngYup, it's flash fiction time again! As always, this is based around Laurence Simon's weekly challenge for the 100 word-stories podcast. It's a great exercise for writers - writing a good drabble is a lot harder than it appears, but is still a "small" task so you can get around that idea of it being too much work. And then you get a random (and often bizarre) writing prompt to shoehorn you out of writer's block! Go read the rules for the Weekly Challenge and participate!

You can hear my son's reading of the story below using the player, but if it's not working (usually in RSS feeds), you can download it directly here. You can also read and hear the rest of the entries at the 100 Word Stories podcast site!

What did we do to deserve such cruelty? They burn us till we cannot move. Being forced to wait for our doom. And they put us in round upside-down domes where we sit there, unmoving, waiting for their return, dreading what is to come. It happens all the time, and now, it is my turn.

I sit in the dome thing and wait. There is a tall green triangle in the corner with smaller square objects under it. Then, to my horror, I see the gigantic red and white demon. A ravenous monster, a legend among my kind.

“Santa Claus!”

05 December 2011

Cookies For Santa - A 100 Word Story

storytime.pngYup, it's flash fiction time again! As always, this is based around Laurence Simon's weekly challenge for the 100 word-stories podcast. It's a great exercise for writers - writing a good drabble is a lot harder than it appears, but is still a "small" task so you can get around that idea of it being too much work. And then you get a random (and often bizarre) writing prompt to shoehorn you out of writer's block! Go read the rules for the Weekly Challenge and participate!

You can hear my reading of the story below using the player, but if it's not working (usually in RSS feeds), you can download it directly here. You can also read and hear the rest of the entries at the 100 Word Stories podcast site!

"You're ten," Mom says. "Old enough to make the cookies for Santa."

I look up and stop cleaning my hamster's cage. "Am I old enough to get an XStationCube4?"

Mom winces. "I'm sorry, honey. I think Santa ran out."

My dad yells from the living room. "Dammit, Brenda, get me another beer."

Mom winces again, and gets him another can. Our recycling bin is almost full.

She leaves me with the ingredients.

Later, I leave the cookies for Santa.

Mom smiles. "What kind did you make?"

"Chocolate chip," I say, and head to bed with my hamster's very clean cage.

01 December 2011

Writer's Self-Affirmation

rant.pngThis occurred to me after being turned down for a job I wanted. Yeah, it stung for a moment. It did. And I spontaneously started saying this to myself in the car.

Because as writers, we have this skill down to a frakking science. And it's ours, no matter what our day job title is.

I am a writer.

I am used to being turned down.

I am used to be being turned away.

I enjoy it. I want it, because that means I haven't given up.

Reject me. I will try again.

I will get better.

I will try harder.

I will try somewhere else.

I will try someone with better taste. 1

And I will succeed.

1 Optional line here: And when you realize what an idiot you were for rejecting me, I will be gracious, and smile, and negotiate my wages 50% over what you meant to pay.