Informative, unobtrusive, minimalistic conky bar

I use conky to make a nice informative bar across the top of my screen (click to embiggen):

Lots of cool, useful info I like to have at a moment's notice.  In order:

[Left side]
1.  Inspirational saying
2.  Which desktop I'm on
3.  Average CPU usage
4.  RAM usage
5.  CPU temperature in Celsius
6.  Uptime
7.  Load (good explanation of load here)

[Right Side]
1. Wireless network::Signal Strength
2. Network speed up / Down
3. LAN IP address
4. WLAN IP address (obviously, I'm at a hotspot here).

It's compact, always visible without taking up much screen real estate, and is the info that when I need it, I need it now.

There's lots of tweaked if/then branches in this conky setup - such as using a temporary file to signal the rest of the system that the network's up, and showing different parts depending on whether it's wireless, wired, and so on.  I use the StyleBats font as well, and one tweaked bash file at the end there (inet_test) that I'll discuss briefly tomorrow.

If you want to take a look at my conky setup, the code is here on pastebin.